Bethy Squires is a playwright and comedian living in Hollywood. She reviews SNL at Splitsider and rewatches The West Wing at Kheiro Magazine. 

1 poem by Bethy Squires

An Apology

ok, internet.

i’ll flip this coin.

i’ll be back in 24 hours. up to you.

should i kill myself:

There's more I want to say, but the first and most important thing—and if it's the only thing you care to hear, that's fine—is:

The power I had over these women is that they admired me

It is essential that these women know

The fact that I was widely admired in my and their community

Without the support of all of you — my fans — I would never have a forum in which to expound on this


I came of age in the ‘60s and ‘70s,

Sharing the joys of Italian food, tradition and hospitality

I never showed a woman my dick without asking first,

It was clearly intended to be funny

That was the culture then


What I did was okay because

  • I want a second chance in the community

  • I have learned a great deal as a result of these events, and I hope others will too

  • I choose now to live as a gay man

  • I am filled with compassion, morals, strong beliefs and love

  • I have loved and had romantic encounters

  • I was pursuing shared feelings

  • I honestly do not remember the encounter

  • I do not believe that all of these allegations are accurate

  • One year ago, I began organizing a $5 million foundation to give scholarships to women directors at USC

  • I respect women

  • And, what's more, I can see how millions of other women would feel


These women who admired me

You really tried. Thank you

And I've tried to learn from them. And run from them

I wish I had reacted to their admiration of me

By being a good example to them as a man and given them some guidance

My journey now will be to learn about myself

The abused will become the abuser if you don’t seek help now.

I want to help


ps. in case you're searching for a holiday-inspired breakfast, these Pizza Dough Cinnamon Rolls are a fan favorite

This poem is a collaboration between me the disgraced men of 2017. Each line is taken from the official apologies of Kevin Spacey, Louis CK, Dustin Marshall, Al Franken, Mario Batali, and Charlie Rose.