Up the Front of the Plane

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It’s a different world up the front of the plane

happy and calm

complimentary iPads

grapefruit juice squeezed in front of you

A view of the Eiffel tower from every window—

A person could fall in love up here

 

Excuse me, looks like I’m sitting beside you—

It’s a local silicon millionaire! An Australian rockstar on tour! American actor Dianne Wiest!

 

Down the back where I normally sit

Warm and damp as a microwaved bread roll

Everyone coughs

The babies cry silently

and the adults cry loudly

and for some reason we have to watch the safety video three times

 

Up the front

Your time is too important

A posh Frenchman compliments my Bart Simpson phone case

It cost two dollars, I say, it would have been false economy not to buy it!

Mine cost seventy-five dollars, he replies, it’s so boring!

He laughs robustly and I laugh too

I guess that was funny

The Frenchman offers further rich person observational humour:

Disneyland is cool, but too crowded!

Monaco—so tiny!

So tiny, I agree, fuck Monaco!

 

He went to Fiji for his birthday

He’s sick of New Caledonia

 

I ran out of anecdotes somewhere over Taupō

I tell him I’m rich—his eyes light up—in life experiences, I conclude

We taxi to the air bridge in gloomy silence

 

the romance is over

and he doesn’t offer to share an uber into town

 

On the flight back I’m in seat 71B

Where I belong

and the staff explain the overhead compartment is full

I have to hold a large blue suitcase on my lap

belonging to the politician in seat 2A

May I get a fresh grapefruit juice for my trouble, I ask

As the politician giggles

And I begin to cough involuntarily

And I see possibilities blooming in the distance

In that far-off world

We don’t know what you’re talking about, says the flight attendant

and the safety video plays for the third time.

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