3 poems

by Aidan Aragon

Aidan Aragon (they/them) is a queer/non-binary poet from Northeastern Wisconsin. They are fond of cats, iced coffee, and love poems. Aidan can be found on Twitter and Instagram @aidanaragon.

*I’m sure we’re taller in another dimension

You say we’re smaller and not worth the mention

You’re tired of movin’, your body’s achin’             

                        [an ode to plane rides and not wanting to die]

 

Carry me out on metal wings aloft in the sound laden sky full of stars and clouds: condensed water   too much spit in my mouth  bubbling over bliss  frothy  warm  ;  like when we held hands and I nervously thought that I could love  or that I even knew the meaning of such words as  expectation: the things I am supposed to do  the things I say I must do  it all stacked upon my shoulders    a young Atlas trembling beneath the Earth   (a lie)   though when it comes down to it all I am is  humble wind  jealous Zephyr  carried such lifelike death  in spring is easiest because the ground is the most forgiving  and the ambiance is already raining through the fog  sky cry  and because who wouldn’t love the irony of it all  death in the time of  life   in the time of utter despair            I couldn’t hold a knife like the clouds held my big steely body above the clouds  aloft against all odds  I’d thought we’d fall   I thought I was already dead   guess I just love the way confusion feels falling over my tongue  onto both our bodies  celestial   wishes shooting through the sky  I wish  I  wish  that I didn’t have to accept my mundanity  that I was special  but I’m not  none of us are  we are all the same  especially considering that simple  fact  is  I want to believe different  I want to believe in the extraordinary  pray that my coffee table can be an alter so that I may worship a god who cares  I want to believe in a god who cares       but      where are the miracles   sprout from prayers  I’m so tired of prayers  who fall dead from my tongue to ears I  can’t find  god  with me  amongst the sunrise  yet this must be proof because I am literally amongst the rising sun ; without need for Apollo’s carriage or Daedalus’ wings ;  too bad  an Icarian death sounds sublimely special   but I’m terrified of falling for anything but the boy of my dreams  he who died when I woke up  saw shattered reflection  of hope  in my  weary eyed   mirror     everything around me  wants to break  everything around me desires an ending and here I am  surrounded by that  “the end is a new beginning”  bullshit  I just want to take a break   I just want to be like the waves upon the shore of Lake Superior  vast and  cold  and beautiful  breaking  over my young dream filled feet  that could carry me anywhere  can you believe in such a place  anywhere any way to find my way  there is no way but through    the brambles I ran  chasing the dog  Chiquita  little girl running through the forest  so excited   it was like  nothing could be more blissful than this  or maybe bliss is the way hot chocolate slides down  when it’s perfect  or when I walk into conditioned air on the tail of the flame  or when I walk side by side with you and your lips and your silver gold precious tongue  could never be bitten back  safe from sun fearing folk like me  folding into the crook of your neck    ; I coo to you like the birds above who don’t shit on my shoulder  and you smile  sunshine  I’m blinded     looking out the window  the shade up   and I can tell  the guy seated next to me wants to sleep and the light probably is in his eyes  sparkles   into mine  beams bother him  but  I am allowed awe  right   I am allowed the heat in my cheeks every time our legs brush up  against the sky  my face becomes a sunset blush   I love you               are the words on the tip of my tongue  dripping down  because sometimes I drool  and sometimes I try to distract myself from the world because  somehow  I can think  “love is a sham”  yet it’s the only god I know   and I think he loves me too   so we kiss    and no one can see the redness of my cheeks  and no one can see  because we’re seated by the bathroom  and no one can see   because  it isn’t happening  because it’s a sham   and I’m staring at the sun  blushing  because I hate that I found this god  (false god)   in the form “love”  I never knew that  but Desire and I  we go way back ; when I was thirteen  and  burgeoning sexuaity falling over the cusp  infinity pool of hormonal brain  and I was there  giving my body because I could never be beautiful  then  against all odds  I was beautiful for  Him  when He asked  so I gave  Him and Him and Him and Him and Him and Him and I gave Him my body  because I never wanted it   and I’d do it again  any time the moon rises and the sun sets   I am his “bxtch”  and I’m on cloud nine   looking over this subtle Pandora’s box of a place called the Midwest  called “quaint”   called  nothing ever happens here but cows and corn and  “all the kinkiest guys I’ve talked to are from Wisconsin”   and I’m not those guys in more ways than one  but   for these few minutes I am  because that is the  love  I know  it is being wanted  I wanted to freefall through the clouds  all the while begging them to hold me up  all the while cherishing the mere moments of resistance        all the while knowing I’m just sitting in seat 24E  dreaming   of plummeting to the Earth  a human comet  and I am the rarest  “once in a lifetime”  comet  burning  and burning  for minutes  and  seconds  and  an   instant   of   being     then gone  how dreamy  it is to live in a world like ours  a spec          in the scheme of it all  so who cares who’s listening who cares about anything  I’m just gonna live   I guess         that we are short and beautiful   life  coming to a halt  the plane grinding into the ground                I thought that we’d die   I thought           “this is a really shitty way to die”        crumbling without the falling  without those moments of miracle human flight   finding god in the terror  in the bliss  giving in to the rush of it all  but   its fine  we landed and  he’s waking up  and the sun has risen  and the god I thought up left me living  and we’re on the ground where we’re all so  (significantly) insignificant  beautiful  fleeting  and amazing because we strive for more  we strive to live  and I lived and I continue to live  and I guess that’s good enough   to live for the sake of living   to find god within my own beating heart  and to still look for something   (god   love     hope    reason       for    it        all) and the within the looking   the awe.

 

 

*lyrics from Frank Ocean’s “White Ferrari”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Green

 

sun drenched seas/ waters,/ like those of the Mediterranean I see in pictures and dream of being in,/ tickling the shores/ palms hanging over/ holding the sun/ leaves leaking in light/ the crowns of trees/ grass and your eyes/ in the poem [where]/ I told you, I miss you/  chlorophyll/ thumbs too sweet/ light of your teeth, sugar sweet laughter/ conversion/ sugar to sweet tea/ iced over summer/ stains our knees and jeans and faces/ a hit of wasabi on the buffet california roll you probably shouldn’t be eating/ hand holding/ our faces still stained under buzz of light posts and we/ envy the weeds sprung from concrete cracks/ overwatered display plants/ driving down the highway/ at night, in the yard, falling into other arms before the bonfire/ lightning bugs squished over our anxious cheeks/ breath of mint in my mouth/ out your tongue and/ on to another

Satiate

 

 

satiate
sa ti  ate
say   she     ate
my desires
white knuckled and warm
in her hand   throbbing   pulsing
say she ate them
with a cool silver spoon
dipped her hands in
ice water  shiver   my spine
my skin   standing up to melt
say she ate them
covered in hot fudge
say she ate them
like they were the last
of a nonrenewable resource [which is to
say she ate them
ignoring their danger  ignoring their loss’ effects
to consume without regard]  sa
ti         ate my desires
from within

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