by Jessica Thornton
Jessica Thornton is a poet and high school English teacher living in Tampa, Florida. Her poems have been published in Gigantic Sequins, Poet Lore, and elsewhere.
When I Feel It, I Feel It Too Much
Once someone entered my body while I was sleeping
so now sometimes I cry during sex.
Men tell me this is a turn off
& think they’re saying something of substance.
They are not interesting or intelligent.
I am funnier than the men I date.
My Tinder bio says “loving me should come with flood insurance
because I have enough tears to fuck up your floorboards.”
I am still trying to make peace with the rain
but it does not recognize me.
I invoke God in the poem when I am desperate.
I invoke Carly Rae Jepsen in the poem much more often.
I just think one of them more than the other
would hold me when I’m crying after sex
& no disrespect to God; it’s not his fault
we have mystified & misdefined what it means to be a man.
& no disrespect to God but I think I would have preferred it
if he had let me sleep through that night altogether.
If given the choice between not being touched that night
& never writing a poem again,
you would be staring at a blank page
& I might be anywhere.