37 Easy Epigrams for a Motherless Child

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1. she’s older by 30 seconds, she thinks that counts, she thinks rubbing one’s body against scripture is the best kind of warmth

2. all of creation took less than one second! even a pair of mittens

3. when I was six I wanted to be a pop star, at the time it was not an embarrassing thing to say, it was quite common for a kid in a turtleneck to look out the window during class and dream about stardom

4. an empty bag is not filled with sand by a good idea no matter how good or “out there” it happens to be

5. today it is no longer possible to look out a window with meandering proclivities

6. compared to a slothful act men and women lock horns on the permafrost

7. do you still think about the critic?

8. when you’re in your bed at night counting the number of pimples on your face do you use an abacus?

9. I may never learn to walk, I may never learn to tie my shoes

10. and that’s perfectly normal

11. my true goal is to become Animal dripping with taboos not knowing where I will snap the neck of my next meal

12. to stand alone means you have reached a state of flawlessness and for now you don’t need any further assistance

13. who if any one has reached this lofty pinnacle

14. it’s lonely at the bottom

15. her life is different than my life because she was raised by loving parents who doted on her while I was raised by a pack of banshees

16. dance if you must but save stillness for the island of Lesbos

17. la puerca ya torció el rabo

18. if you see her say hello

19. the artist formerly known as Crazy Eddie rose to prominence throughout the Tri-State Region and is now living in an old folks home in Poughkeepsie

20. disambiguation number one, Eddie Vedder strummed a guitar with a rhythmic pulse all night long and was adored by fans and many women

21. some keepsake waits for you at the bottom of a lost REM

22. as long as you can keep the hacky sack in the air, boys will wander the roads of the hard life

23. he was beyond reproach and living in a discarded abalone shell

24. even the warm Baja waves were not enamored of his grace and wit for he was cursed from birth

25. as soon as the shit hits the fan all of your senses awaken and this is the gift of time in a bottle

26. what if all my life has been a waste standing here a less than zero sum a ballpark figure lording over Jamaica, Queens from my college dormitory

27. is notoriety a man-made sustenance?

28. just keep it up and all your goals will vanish in the blink of an eye as you are digging catch-basins in the savanna

29. airborne is the treasure that consumes the ghost

30. holy men have roamed these hills in loin cloths but which woman has regained her footing on a Rodgers and Hammerstein tune

31. sticky they call all bottomless pits

32. a plaster of Paris boy made his way home through the ganglions of night

33. arrested by a lukewarm vision

34. several men and women, humans as it were, have noticed a baby horn protruding from unwept tears at the center of their personal philanthropy

35. fourth floor Schermerhorn extension bathroom was the floating palace of pearls taken with a packet of sugar

36. through the unquilted curtain of graffiti

37. even cilia weep for a mannequin in a shop window who will never go to law school

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