Victoria is from Spencerport, NY. The closest she’s come to publication is having her honors thesis, “No Wonder Pizza is Already as American as Apple Pie!" featured on the UB History Department website. She likes to write, but nothing has ever come of it, so as of now she works in real estate and drinks far too much coffee.

1 poem by Victoria Iacchetta

Durex

a man called to complain
about the package of pistachios he bought
there was a chrysalis (pupil stage) of navel orangeworm
he put one of our nuts in his mouth
but it tasted funny
and when he spat it out
and turned on the lights
he was horrified
it was stuck to the shell
and he was almost sick
his stomach felt funny
and he couldn't bring himself to eat anything else from the packet
i apologized and asked for his name
it was gareth
on behalf of kestrel foods
i apologized to gareth for any inconvenience our nuts may have caused
and i made a few suggestions
be careful when consuming nuts
they may have fungal contamination
and never eat pistachios in the dark
they may contain foreign objects